Misgiving #4: Secretary General Clinton? Savior of the U.N.

I have always appreciated the fact that the United Nations was easy to despise. It's egalitarian dreams of utopian humanity agreeing together in perfect Communism was always enough fodder to make a level-headed American queezy.
"Pardon me, where is the little boys room?"

But lately, I've been noticing a trend in media sentiment toward the eminent turnover of U.N. authority to a new Secretary General on December 31st. As recently as January 14, 2006 BBC reported that former U.S. President Bill Clinton was jaunting around the Isles humbly touting his "friend" Prime Minister Blair as being capable of doing "good... in the world and that's the most important thing."

When asked on BBC2's Newsnight if Mr Blair should run for UN secretary general, Mr Clinton responded: "That would suit me. He would be a good one."

But Clinton himself, as Secretary General of the U.N.? It has been talked about in U.N. circles and among the former president's insiders for more than two years. And now, according to a United Press International report, Clinton "definitely wants to do it."

Since his own retirement in 2000, the former President has himself done many "good" things, running around the world's elite circles raising cash for impoverished tsunami victims, hurricane Katrina's thousands of homeless, and campaigning for world debt relief and fighting HIV/AIDS. Even current Secretary Kofi Annan has shown his appreciation globally for his buddy. It must be nice to get the stamp of approval from a leader that normally cannot find any respectable words for our current American leadership.

Very respectable for any former world leader to do with his valuable time, I must say. After all, Clinton's "down time" is worth millions, as he encouraged Tony Blair: whatever Mr Blair did after leaving Number 10 he could expect "immense rewards" from speaking engagements, books and directorships.

Clinton would know... despite heart surgeries in the past couple years, Bill Clinton has still been hitting the podium — for speeches around the world. He rakes in about $125,000 per speech in the U.S. and as much as $250,000 for those given abroad. In 2004 alone he earned about $6 million from book royalties and speaking engagements. So all of this mouth-flapping seems certainly aimed at bolstering his world-prestige and acutely designed to predestinate him as a prime candidate for the next Secretary election. Could all his banter about Tony Blair possibly be a only a viel of his own career intentions? Read this report of a recent appearance by Clinton before the world body.

Former U.S. Sen. Jesse Helms is raising the possibility that former President Bill Clinton may want to succeed Kofi Annan as U.N. Secretary General when Annan retires. "I'm sure you might agree that putting a left-wing, undisciplined and ethically challenged former President of the United States into a position of such power would be a tragic mistake." After a Middle East U.N. Secretary-General (Boutros Boutros Ghali) and an African (Kofi Annan) it is generally considered Asia's turn to fill the post, U.N. experts say; no American has ever been U.N. secretary-general. Nonetheless, the United States is both host country to the United Nations and the major contributor to its budget, so that is possibly a moot precedent.

A Clinton candidacy is likely to receive overwhelming support from U.N. member states, particularly the Third World. All of the diatribes against "American aggression" and "Bush follies" are, I believe aimed specifically at distancing Clinton from the stereotypical American stygma. Diplomats in Washington say Clinton would galvanize the United Nations and give an enormous boost to its prestige. But the former president's hopes hang on a crucial question that will not be addressed until after the presidential elections: can he get the support of the U.S. government -- a prerequisite for nomination?

My God, let's hope not. He's just too likeable... and that scares me.